I Really Have an Eye for the Good Ones

I hire the best people.

Here is a snapshot (image on left) of one of my guest workers, Miguel, performing a dazzling tenor rendition of Wagner's aria, Parsifal, at the NAAWP gala in St. Moritz. I flew him in from one of my summer homes that he and his family watch when I am abroad, and he agreed only after 20 minutes of his protestations (apparently his wife is pregnant with their third child and is about to pop – which, incidentally, I do not believe) and my placating him by promising spa treatments and a gift certificate to El Chorizo. Let it suffice to say that his emotions and ability, whether fabricated or sincere, certainly bled through the performance as though they were real. His little fish bowl tip jar was filled to the brim by the end of the evening!

Bravissimo, Miguel! I'm looking forward to seeing what your wife does with my rose garden. See you in a few months!

More to come,

Gwen Hammond
NAAWP - Women's Auxiliary

On the Upside of Things

I've just purchased a new horse. His name is Stormin' Norman.

A fine hunk of equestrian yumminess!

Make momma proud, honey.

PICTURE PERFECT

Seven months after Halloween, radical liberals are finding new ways of spending their time constructively, challenging the governmental superstructure by terrorizing city streets, dressed up as dead people. Good job, guys and gals. Way to stick it to the man!

Young liberals, thank you for reinforcing my faith in myself. Backing up your words with REAL actions is what I like to see. Stunts such as these give me faith that one day millionaires, like myself, will be able to exercise absolute power over people like you. Zombies are not going to get Bush out of office nor rescue your precious Federal Perkins Loans from falling into complete obsolescence next year. Oh wait, that's right. You don't care.

Before I go: "The hardest thing to bear in poverty is that it makes men ridiculous." --Juvenal (Satire III)

Have a lovely day,

Gwen Hammond
NAAWP - Women's Auxiliary

CoMos: The New Epidemic?

I'd like to take this opportunity before I leave, to thank my friend and fellow Millionaire, Richard Quick, Esq., for drawing attention to the latest absurdities floating around the internet. Please see his site for more information on the social disease that has afflicted this country:

http://richardquick.blogspot.com/

I encourage you to learn about both sides of the story before joining the debate, though making sense of these leftist crackpots can be a bit of a chore.

See you on the Right side,

Gwen Hammond
CGLG

Baby, I'm going to leave you

Ah, the summer is now upon us. In a few short days, I will be making my way back to Marseilles for one month, maybe two. This is, by far, one of most exciting times of the year for me. I've recently purchased a yacht and this journey will be its first maiden voyage. I've named it the Gordon Lightfoot, but my current beau thinks ill of my wit. So, Jim, if you're reading this, let's not forget that If it weren't for Roger's untimely death, none of this would be possible for you, would it? Take care to not bite the hand that feeds you, honey. Especially when that hand is as manicured as mine.

Roger, if you're listening: thank you, honey.

If anyone is interested in jumping aboard, do let me know. Depending upon your median income, we might be able to work something out.

Cheers!

Gwen Hammond
CGLG