Gwen Hammond's Upper Echelon

I am Gwen Hammond, scarf designer, CEO, and founder of the Chatillon-sur-Glane Leisure Group. If you'd like a full colour catalogue of my fashions, please send an email.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

"How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold" the new book by Gwen Hammond

Ladies, are you tired of having mediocre sex with your lazy excuse of a boyfriend just so you can get your nails done and your hair did? Longing to get out of your dumpy apartment, but don't know how?

Look no further! "How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold," is the new self-help book by world-renown scarf designer and CEO of the Hammond Corporation, Gwen Hammond.

Gwen invites you to take a closer look at yourself and exactly what it is you want out of life, while learning how to sleep your way to the top of the food chain. Join the ranks of other prestigous upper-crust pussy profit-making women, the likes of Ms. Anna Nicole, Heidi Fleiss, Nancy Reagan and more! With the proper application of Gwen's 5-Point Pussy Charisma Plan you can learn how to climb the rungs of the social ladder by riding them!

  • Learn how to identify your pussy as a Natural Resource that can be harvested for profit!
  • Learn how to increase the market value of your pussy
  • Watch your "pussy-profit" margins grow exponentially
  • Learn how to formulate ideas for the creation of additional wealth!


Gwen Hammond utilizes certified data sets compiled by Quick Research Group Inc., to inform women about the ease at which they can reach the heights of true success without breaking a nail for it. Spending thousands of dollars on a University education is not necessary! Recent studies show that successful men are twice as likely to date and/or marry a woman who is not as successful as they are. Yes, that's right: University educated women are too smart. Take preventative measures NOW to keep yourself from falling into this predicament.

There is money waiting for you!!! Don't delay - act NOW! Order Gwen Hammond's "How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold," and save yourself hassle, headache, time and loneliness. This is the only self-help book you will ever need!

Gwen Hammond says:

"...Although I have not utilized this method of success myself, I have perused the pages of Quick Research Group's findings and have determined them to be valid and true. It is my intention to utilize the leadership abilities that God has blessed me with in order to inform and instruct ladies from various walks of life, especially those of the underprivileged social class, so that they might enjoy their time on this earth the way they have always dreamed. I believe it is my God given right and social duty."

"How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold" by Gwen Hammond. Follybottle Press (2006) 216pp.

*Special thanks to Quick Research Group and the National Association for the Advancement of Wealthy People for their generous contributions to this work. All proceeds will be donated to the St. Moritz Chateau Relief Effort.

5 Comments:

  • At 2:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Pussy into gold"? "your hair did"? I can't believe I am a click and 3 cents for this!

     
  • At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    please tell this is a stupid scam... or better even, a cynical joke with the intention of social criticism... please tell me that gwen hammond is a ficitonal person, that that research doesn't exist and that that book cover is just an exercise in graphics for someone and not... well, a book cover.

     
  • At 11:40 AM, Blogger Gwen Hammond said…

    Anonymous,

    I am insulted. I ask you, why must people like you always hate people like me? Wait, I remember now.

    Because I'm rich, you're not, and your blood boils because of it. Success is measured by gold, belgian bon-bons, and the amount of truffle oil in your food. If you doubt me, then I extend an offer of employment to you. You could learn a great many worthwhile things working in my kitchen.

    Best,
    Gwen Hammond

     
  • At 12:34 AM, Blogger seraphimovic said…

    fuck posting anonymous. it's better to know the persons name, especially when he thinks you're an ass hole :))))) sure you're rich ass hole, people with no regard for feelings usually end up stinkin' rich and also just stinkin'. i would wish you a nice day but i would be lying and that's not nice :p

     
  • At 12:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My compliments on your blog. To get it more widely noticed, grab your
    free copy of
    Links Explode

     

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