"How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold" the new book by Gwen Hammond

Ladies, are you tired of having mediocre sex with your lazy excuse of a boyfriend just so you can get your nails done and your hair did? Longing to get out of your dumpy apartment, but don't know how?

Look no further! "How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold," is the new self-help book by world-renown scarf designer and CEO of the Hammond Corporation, Gwen Hammond.

Gwen invites you to take a closer look at yourself and exactly what it is you want out of life, while learning how to sleep your way to the top of the food chain. Join the ranks of other prestigous upper-crust pussy profit-making women, the likes of Ms. Anna Nicole, Heidi Fleiss, Nancy Reagan and more! With the proper application of Gwen's 5-Point Pussy Charisma Plan you can learn how to climb the rungs of the social ladder by riding them!

• Learn how to identify your pussy as a Natural Resource that can be harvested for profit!
• Learn how to increase the market value of your pussy
• Become an Exotic Dancer!
  
  
• Watch your "pussy-profit" margins grow exponentially
• Learn how to formulate ideas for the creation of additional wealth!

Gwen Hammond utilizes certified data sets compiled by Quick Research Group Inc., to inform women about the ease at which they can reach the heights of true success without breaking a nail for it. Spending thousands of dollars on a University education is not necessary! Recent studies show that successful men are twice as likely to date and/or marry a woman who is not as successful as they are. Yes, that's right: University educated women are too smart. Take preventative measures NOW to keep yourself from falling into this predicament.

There is money waiting for you!!! Don't delay - act NOW! Order Gwen Hammond's "How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold," and save yourself hassle, headache, time and loneliness. This is the only self-help book you will ever need!

Gwen Hammond says:

"...Although I have not utilized this method of success myself, I have perused the pages of Quick Research Group's findings and have determined them to be valid and true. It is my intention to utilize the leadership abilities that God has blessed me with in order to inform and instruct ladies from various walks of life, especially those of the underprivileged social class, so that they might enjoy their time on this earth the way they have always dreamed. I believe it is my God given right and social duty."

"How to Turn Your Pussy Into Gold" by Gwen Hammond. Follybottle Press (2006) 216pp.

*Special thanks to Quick Research Group and the National Association for the Advancement of Wealthy People for their generous contributions to this work. All proceeds will be donated to the St. Moritz Chateau Relief Effort.

Green Line Real Estate: Promotional Video

NAAWP Conference 2006: CALL FOR PAPERS (i.e., SEX OUTSIDE THE CITY!)

As many of you know, our annual meeting is approaching and we have a plethora of issues to iron-out before picking up our globes and re-entering the chaos of the Unwashed.

It is a great task we have, carrying the weight of the world. And it is precisely why I am taking this opportunity to suggest that we not only present to eachother our latest issues, ideas and fiscal concerns, but that we also consider extending the conference by two weeks this year. Our heavy burden requires intensive recuperation and I can think of several ways to maximize our precious time in St. Moritz to ensure that we all get the relaxation we need. (Yes, yes, your lawn bowling and spa treatments will still be available - these things are staples, they will never go away) But, with the intention of making things a bit more interesting, I have invested my own time and energy (via my Hammond Corp employees) into the creation of 2006's premier leisure activity: SEX OUTSIDE THE CITY!

I had a revelation when I visited Thailand over the winter and decided that we, being beacons of culture and upstanding citizens of the world, need to stop profligating our money and extraordinary sexual prowess to the 8-12 yr. old peasant boys and girls of Southeast Asia when we could be giving it to each other, keeping the jewels where they belong. (I know. I believe this has the potential to lead to a sexual revolution among the members of our circle. Just you wait.) Well, we wouldn't be having sex with each other, you see, but we would be leasing out the sexual services of those completely disenfranchised pesky Gnomes who have been trying to tear our society apart with their underhanded terrorist activities. Call it retribution via Privates Trading. It's going to be the hit of the season, trust me.

I don't know about you, but I could sure go for a lively romp with a big-nosed fence-jumping boy who knows how to lift heavy bushels and talk to horses.

Please submit your papers and/or topics for discussion as soon as possible. Thank you!

Gwen Hammond
Co-Chair, NAAWP

*Papers must be written by NAAWP members ONLY.
*All papers are subject to intensive prescreening upon submission.
*NAAWP Chair reserves right to edit or refuse any paper for any reason.