FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Gwen Hammond Announces Details of Secretive Urban Development Program in Vatican City

Last week, CEO Gwen Hammond met with Vatican City Officials to discuss plans for a massive urban engineering overhaul in the tiny European mini-state whose primary ATM language is Latin. It is said that the enlisted services of an Interpreter of Dead Foreign Languages proved to be especially helpful to Ms. Hammond when speaking at great length with Benny and his men. Hammond stated that the Green Line International Business Initiative has been given legal permission by Vatican City Officials to go ahead with their massive Urban Development Overhaul (UDO), regarded as one of the most extraordinary engineering feats of the twenty-first century. She recently gave this statement outside of St. Peter’s:

“Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you today… not as a foreigner, but as one of your very own. Take care to notice that I have been outfitted in all-black Versace chiffon and Milanese stilettos as well as Dolce & Gabana sunglasses. Can you see the logo from that far away? I assure you, it is there. I sincerely hope, with all of my cold and calculating heart, that you welcome my words and intent with thoroughly washed open arms.

The new Green Line International Business Initiative has been designed so that we (meaning you, the people, and perhaps a few Romanians) can together take part in one of the most exciting urban development projects of our time. Green Line’s International Business Initiative is unrivaled and groundbreaking, a desert oasis for the weary and downtrodden who wallow in the septic tank of low social rank, wishing to fulfill dreams and stuff pocketbooks with the sweet dew of the universe.

The Green Line’s IBI-UDO seeks to boost the local economy by modernizing the ancient city’s plumbing system, an intricate network of pipes that will be cleverly diverted from the Vatican and re-routed to a secret and undisclosed location in the city of Naples, It. I have assembled a team of the best engineers that money can buy: QuickCo Construction, Survey, and Equip. as well as Quick Research Group’s scientists and general engineers. The waste from the toilets within the Vatican will be automatically channeled to a supremely designed smart filtration system that my team has been affectionately referring to as 'The Immaculate Contraption' which will intelligently sort liquids and solids, separating and storing them in their respective places for future use.

This is a massive and unprecedented undertaking that will require enormous effort on your part and will no doubt be rewarded with a flourishing economic…situation. All I am asking from you, my people, is blind and unquestioning faith – trust in the Green Line International Business Initiative. Your efforts will prove to be highly beneficial for you and your descendants. We are here to help you realize your western destiny and to fulfill the wishes of your forefathers whose ruins still nobly stand as a testament of Moral Self-Interest.

We are really looking forward to watching your economy boom. Construction will begin tomorrow. Thank you for your time."