Gwen Hammond's Upper Echelon

I am Gwen Hammond, scarf designer, CEO, and founder of the Chatillon-sur-Glane Leisure Group. If you'd like a full colour catalogue of my fashions, please send an email.

Friday, June 09, 2006

On the Morality of Rational Self-Interest

It's unlikely that this defense will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to act as a positive role model for younger Millionaires.

Perhaps before going on, I should describe Dr Phillip Severenz to you. Dr Severenz is delusional, and sophomoric. He is also a former member of the NAAWP whose membership was terminated when it was discovered that he donated three quaters of his fortune to a religious charity after a experiencing some kind of "mystical epiphany."

You may find it amusing or even titillating to read about Dr Severenz's opinions, but they're not amusing to me. They're deeply troubling. He has attempted to destroy those with whom I have established a great empire, people whose fortunes I care for, and I will not let it stand. Dr. Severenz, you cannot destroy a Billionaire. You need us. We are your vertebrae, your sun. We are the motors of the world. Pat yourself on your back if you need to. But know this: your sheltered academic think tank will not accomplish as much as, say, $10,000,000,000 and a night at my villa with my Brazilian service staff. Relinquish your present morals and you will find paradise. It is just around the corner, trust me. I, too, have taken that step.

Dr. Severenz clearly operates on the basis of an unremitting hatred of wealth and leisure due to a dellusional belief that the soul exists and needs to be "cultivated" by denying the pleasures that are due to us. If we let him make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Richard Quick is an outstanding citizen, a self-made man, and wants nothing more than to help the underprivileged, yet Dr. Severenz bestows him with the title "Artabilious and shallow." Richard Quick has made countless people millionaires overnight, yet Dr. Severenz says that he "has never inscribed his name on the Parthenon of human excellence." Is this not excellent? Are these not the things that people want? Is he not operating under the virtues that you and your beer-guzzling academic blowhards put forward? He is Santa Claus, Dr. Severenz, and you are being a bad boy.

It's easy to tell if Dr Severenz's lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. There. I have said everything.

Feel free to browse his absurdity here:
http://drseverenz.blogspot.com/

Gwen Hammond
Co-chair, NAAWP

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